Wednesday, March 22, 2006
| You Are a Prophet Soul |
 You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul |
What Kind of Soul Are You?
Monday, March 20, 2006
DAY OF REFLECTION~
About 3 years ago I began a tradition, where I take time on my day of birth (today) to reflect on the 365 days leading up to my big day. So I analyze all of my achievements, disappointments, goals, relationships, projects etc. You get the point.
Well a lot has happened: Around this time last year I was going through a huge break up (or maybe more like I was getting dumped), I was applying to grad programs, in school, working, dancing, but at the same time becoming close friends with really good people. Since then I must say I've experienced hardship like I've never imagined-but somehow I seemed to have survived and it feels really good to say that now. There is so much that I want to do and see and I know that what I've experienced is only preparing me for what lies ahead.
I've come to realize that my worst enemy is me. Only I can stop me from doing all that it is that I want to accomplish. Sometimes I can be the most negative and self defeating person around and that is one thing that I must change from here forward. So in recognizing that I want to put it out there, i'm negative about my dancing, my body, and my future. None of the things that I want to do are unattainable yet I put them farther and farther out of my reach because of my negativity. Well now that I know what my problem is, it's time for me to do something about it.
So I'll just end this entry with lessons learned from these past 365 days...always stay true to yourself, be yourself, love yourself and respect yourself and if you don't know what these things are or how to do these things find out as soon as possible. Put positive energy and actions out into the universe and that energy will be returned to you. Work hard and focus because great things don't come easy. And finally everything happens for a reason.
About 3 years ago I began a tradition, where I take time on my day of birth (today) to reflect on the 365 days leading up to my big day. So I analyze all of my achievements, disappointments, goals, relationships, projects etc. You get the point.
Well a lot has happened: Around this time last year I was going through a huge break up (or maybe more like I was getting dumped), I was applying to grad programs, in school, working, dancing, but at the same time becoming close friends with really good people. Since then I must say I've experienced hardship like I've never imagined-but somehow I seemed to have survived and it feels really good to say that now. There is so much that I want to do and see and I know that what I've experienced is only preparing me for what lies ahead.
I've come to realize that my worst enemy is me. Only I can stop me from doing all that it is that I want to accomplish. Sometimes I can be the most negative and self defeating person around and that is one thing that I must change from here forward. So in recognizing that I want to put it out there, i'm negative about my dancing, my body, and my future. None of the things that I want to do are unattainable yet I put them farther and farther out of my reach because of my negativity. Well now that I know what my problem is, it's time for me to do something about it.
So I'll just end this entry with lessons learned from these past 365 days...always stay true to yourself, be yourself, love yourself and respect yourself and if you don't know what these things are or how to do these things find out as soon as possible. Put positive energy and actions out into the universe and that energy will be returned to you. Work hard and focus because great things don't come easy. And finally everything happens for a reason.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Ghetto Superstars...
So, I just got home from Philly...I work there on Saturdays-teaching dance classes to adults, teens and 3-5 year olds. When I think about it, it's hard to believe that I'm a ballet teacher, when it was probably my worst subject in school-but I ended up loving it. Anyhow I digress...I teach at a small dance studio in West Philadelphia and my colleagues and students are a very talented bunch. Now they don't have a great ballet background or vocabulary, nonetheless, it doesn't take their talent away as dancers-I mean they dance their heart and souls out and they are some of the most creative and innovative folks I've ever met. When I'm around them I feel so much comfort and ease it feels like I'm around family...I love that! You know it's like my home away from home. The dance school and company mainly does hip-hop choreography and if you really wanna get specific-street funk (and they're really, really good at it). Their company show was tonight and they danced with so much energy and passion til I was almost brought to tears. They remind me so much of the reason what dance was for me when I first started and they continue to remind what dance is supposed to be-they renew my love for it every week. It's so weird to be around a group of people that just dance because of the pure love for it and nothing else. I'm so used to being around people who are trying to get paid or seen on television or Broadway and these people are just happy to have their shows and recitals a few times a year where they can show off to their family and friends. And I wonder to myself constantly, thinking "wow they're okay with this, and IT IS OKAY DAMNIT... fame and recognition is relative, the popularity and love that you get locally from loved ones can be just as rewarding as fame worldwide, it could maybe be even better."
So enough with the mushy/semi-serious stuff-to add to the kids say the darndest things collection...This morning in my 3-5 year old ballet class, after telling one of my students that she did a very good job, she turned and looked at me with the cutest smile and said, "I did an excellent job!" OMG! kids are too much, right?! LOL.
So, I just got home from Philly...I work there on Saturdays-teaching dance classes to adults, teens and 3-5 year olds. When I think about it, it's hard to believe that I'm a ballet teacher, when it was probably my worst subject in school-but I ended up loving it. Anyhow I digress...I teach at a small dance studio in West Philadelphia and my colleagues and students are a very talented bunch. Now they don't have a great ballet background or vocabulary, nonetheless, it doesn't take their talent away as dancers-I mean they dance their heart and souls out and they are some of the most creative and innovative folks I've ever met. When I'm around them I feel so much comfort and ease it feels like I'm around family...I love that! You know it's like my home away from home. The dance school and company mainly does hip-hop choreography and if you really wanna get specific-street funk (and they're really, really good at it). Their company show was tonight and they danced with so much energy and passion til I was almost brought to tears. They remind me so much of the reason what dance was for me when I first started and they continue to remind what dance is supposed to be-they renew my love for it every week. It's so weird to be around a group of people that just dance because of the pure love for it and nothing else. I'm so used to being around people who are trying to get paid or seen on television or Broadway and these people are just happy to have their shows and recitals a few times a year where they can show off to their family and friends. And I wonder to myself constantly, thinking "wow they're okay with this, and IT IS OKAY DAMNIT... fame and recognition is relative, the popularity and love that you get locally from loved ones can be just as rewarding as fame worldwide, it could maybe be even better."
So enough with the mushy/semi-serious stuff-to add to the kids say the darndest things collection...This morning in my 3-5 year old ballet class, after telling one of my students that she did a very good job, she turned and looked at me with the cutest smile and said, "I did an excellent job!" OMG! kids are too much, right?! LOL.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
I decided not to start my post this time with "ok" so I'll start with...WTF! I just finished getting my head shrinked and I left the office thinking, "was anything accomplished?" I mean what am I supposed to feel after these sessions? because after these last two I left feeling really nervous and self conscious. Maybe I went into this whole thing with the wrong expectations, maybe I thought she was gonna miraculously fix me and my life in a few sittings, or that every time I visited she would make me feel excellent, great or better. I don't know? Yet again WTF?!
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Okay I have so much to talk about today...Well firstly I wanna say that just when I thought Fountainhead was taking a turn for the worse it turned into a love story. And I'm a sap for love stories. Though I was a little disturbed by the way this love story began...Two very confident, yet strange, dominant and peculiarly intelligent people start lusting over each other and this overwhelming lust is then quenched by rape. Huh?!! This here Dominique character loves Roark but hates him at the same time she wants him to jump her bones but then she fights him when he tries to get some. And after it is all said and done she lies all bruised up on the bathroom floor-but she loved it, so she doesn't take a bath. I don't know is that supposed to be hot? sexy? maybe to some. I know sometimes I get into the rough stuff-but rape? isn't that a bit extreme?
Ok so nexties...I figured out (all by myself-by way of talking too much and rambling on to a friend of mine) that I am bad at getting my point across in a clear and concise way whether I'm writing or talking, and when I am having a conversation I jump from topic to topic like crazy, even when I'm telling a story. I think I'm a little nutso. Anyhow I spoke with a shrink today and after our session I felt very exhausted, uneasy and nervous all at the same time. Makes you say hmmmm...right? Well I'm supposed to be seeing her again next week. A friend of mine said that she'll probably tell me I have ADD and then I'll be able to get more money for school-sounds good to me.
And finally I figured out my motto for 2006. So for the past, let's say 3-4 years my motto has been "GET IT TOGETHER" (hence the GETIT2G theme that I chose for this blog) And I've just been thinking lately, especially since the new year, that I need to move beyond this idea of getting it together because I sort of feel like I did a good job of getting into grad school and just making the transition into adulthood, womanhood and all the other hoods that matter. Then I thought well if I "got it together" why am I such a mess. And then it came to me, I have goals, ambition and the blueprints to achieve them but I just haven't been as serious as I should be. So that's my motto-"GET SERIOUS." How 'bout that?!
Ok so nexties...I figured out (all by myself-by way of talking too much and rambling on to a friend of mine) that I am bad at getting my point across in a clear and concise way whether I'm writing or talking, and when I am having a conversation I jump from topic to topic like crazy, even when I'm telling a story. I think I'm a little nutso. Anyhow I spoke with a shrink today and after our session I felt very exhausted, uneasy and nervous all at the same time. Makes you say hmmmm...right? Well I'm supposed to be seeing her again next week. A friend of mine said that she'll probably tell me I have ADD and then I'll be able to get more money for school-sounds good to me.
And finally I figured out my motto for 2006. So for the past, let's say 3-4 years my motto has been "GET IT TOGETHER" (hence the GETIT2G theme that I chose for this blog) And I've just been thinking lately, especially since the new year, that I need to move beyond this idea of getting it together because I sort of feel like I did a good job of getting into grad school and just making the transition into adulthood, womanhood and all the other hoods that matter. Then I thought well if I "got it together" why am I such a mess. And then it came to me, I have goals, ambition and the blueprints to achieve them but I just haven't been as serious as I should be. So that's my motto-"GET SERIOUS." How 'bout that?!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Okay so, I'll continue to talk about books or reading that I've come across that's interesting but the book club is officially disbanded :( And by the way I'm still reading Fountain Head and I've been quite bored with it as of late.
Well just to break in my new site as a "thought lay downer" I thought I'd begin by talking about my day. My morning was not the best at all and I can't quite go into detail about why it wasn't but it just wasn't. This particular event that occurred made me so angry and gave me such a bad attitude that I kind of scared myself. I had to step back for a second and ask myself, "is it that deep or that serious?" I think it's because I'm having one of my "womanly" days. But sometimes I wonder what to do in a situation where someone makes me really upset like that. yet the reason why they made me upset was actually silly and trivial and I don't want to seem like a jerk by confronting them about it. Often times in these situations I just pout and vent to my bestfriend, who in turn does a pretty good job of just sitting back and listening and being like, "that's a damn shame...that would piss me off too." and then she says something to make me laugh and I feel a lot better. Why can't men be the same way, why can't they just sit back listen, not try to give advice or suggestions (unless we ask for it) and then say something funny or witty to make us feel better?
Well just to break in my new site as a "thought lay downer" I thought I'd begin by talking about my day. My morning was not the best at all and I can't quite go into detail about why it wasn't but it just wasn't. This particular event that occurred made me so angry and gave me such a bad attitude that I kind of scared myself. I had to step back for a second and ask myself, "is it that deep or that serious?" I think it's because I'm having one of my "womanly" days. But sometimes I wonder what to do in a situation where someone makes me really upset like that. yet the reason why they made me upset was actually silly and trivial and I don't want to seem like a jerk by confronting them about it. Often times in these situations I just pout and vent to my bestfriend, who in turn does a pretty good job of just sitting back and listening and being like, "that's a damn shame...that would piss me off too." and then she says something to make me laugh and I feel a lot better. Why can't men be the same way, why can't they just sit back listen, not try to give advice or suggestions (unless we ask for it) and then say something funny or witty to make us feel better?
